Thursday, November 19, 2009

Ebb And Flow

It's a good thing, you bringing that baby to the beach. She needs it. Not for the body, but for the mind.

A man said this to Steve and I as he walked by us on the beach. He couldn't have said any clearer what I was thinking. Our sentiments matched. There is something about the ocean and the beach that have such a powerful restorative healing nature for me. It's not for the body it's for the mind. How true. How lucky that I can impart that on my family.

Today started as an off day for me. I slept fitfully and was irritable. Any day where I start dropping f-bombs before breakfast I know I need to make a change. So when Steve asked me what I had planned for the day I said - I need a road trip and I need the beach. How about we head to Morehead City for the day? Like I needed to sell this idea I further added; the weather is going to be awesome and I need to be outside. Within minutes Steve was packing the car with our surf fishing rods and I was packing a beach bag. We were out the door in 30 minutes.

My body and mind are not unlike the ocean. Sometimes a storm brews and the bottom mixes up and then a few good sized emotional waves wash over me. I need to wait for the tidal change to bring in new waters and new energy. I can usually catch this before an emotional tsunami hits. Heading to the beach I figured would be the cure all for this little imbalance I was feeling. So what was this feeling I was wearing?

Our Finley is seven months old and being a breast fed non-bottle taking, going to no-one but Steve and I kind of baby she and I have been together all day everyday since her arrival. We are each like one side of velcro. I'm not knocking it - I adore her, but, a part of me is jealous when Steve says he's going fishing for a couple of hours. He always asks me if it's okay for him to go, and I always say yes, because we value our play time.

I used to jump in the boat and go along, fishing was something we did together. It was our play time and our time to sit and chat or just sit quietly with one another. I have been missing my husband, my friends, mourning a little for the freedom I had before pregnancy and baby. I wouldn't trade my new life for the world, I just have to make peace with the old one and try to find a balance in my new one. After being stuck in my head and in the house for the past week's worth of Ida rain remnants I needed to get away from the same old and out of the house. So the beach was the perfect place to go. I needed to take my sour thoughts and my string of F-bombs and throw them into the outgoing tides.

This day looks as beautiful in pictures as it was for a spectacularly ordinary Monday in November. For us it was our weekend. Having been in a relationship with a shift worker for ten years we learn to make our weekend any two days in a row we can rub together. Sometimes, like on this day, we luck out. While most 9-5 Monday to Friday-ers are staring out the window contemplating playing hooky we are striding a beach, for the most part, alone.

Fins wouldn't keep her hat on (hence the bandanna) but she wanted mine!

Finley clapping as I fly her overhead.

Steve set up his lines and within a few minutes was hooking Blue Fish two at a time. The incoming tide brought a giant school of Blues with it. I video taped Steve several times as he cast and reeled in Blue Fish. The time code on the whole cast, reel and hook a fish sequence read an average of 20 seconds. Steve and I lost count of how many fish he reeled in and threw back into the ocean. We did keep a few to eat for dinner. Steve thanked me for thinking of taking us to the beach. Then he handed me the rod. Here you gotta reel a few in - it's so much fun! And so I did. It was awesome!

Finley had a blast too, she took of crawling like a champ after ocean scrub and shells stopping only to pick up and taste the sand. She had a few sandy poops after this day!

Finley & Steve walking along the shore.

A wave splashed over Finley's feet startling her, it was the only cry we heard out of her all day. She loved the beach and the fresh air I am certain was as good for her body as it as for her mind. The best part of it all was how good it was for my body and my mind!

This my friends is how I restored a little balance to my days after feeling slightly off kilter. It's not alone time I seek, but rather, time with my family doing something we like to do, or a good conversation with an old friend, making and eating a delicious fresh meal. Small things really, but, they are the most important to me.

It seems I just needed a little play time to restore order to my ocean.


Twwly said...

What a great day.

Erin said...

Oh I am jealous. I feel the same way about the beach. Confession: I have lived in Winston-Salem for three years, and I have never been to an NC beach. I know. No excuse.

Baby BEE and Me said...

ahhhhh feels so warmmmmming,so happy you and family made some time, I miss you so much old friend, we NEED a call to stay fuzzy and catch up before December rolls by.

lucky said...

loved this post. HOW can Fin be getting more beautiful each day??? she is just such a special girl. much like her mommy.