Mommy Monster

This week's roundup of wonderful milestones:

Finley is continuing to sit up pretty well in her Bumbo seat, or supported by the Boppy.

Photo taken June 20th -Fin 9 weeks old

She is rolling over from her back to her belly. At first we thought it was an accident but she did it four times in one day so we figure she's onto it. Now we have to be very careful where we put her.

She has been working very hard to reach for toys offered and grasp them to bring directly to her mouth. And she has begun to drool. Yeah. Drool.

I managed to get Fin to ride in her stroller three times since Saturday, she is so curious and loves to look at things until the motion lulls her to a peaceful sleep - sans tears. Honestly, I can't tell you what a relief this brings me. I have been walking the empty stroller all around town while wearing Finley because she spazzes out after 10 minutes into our walk. People think I have twins and look into the stroller for the "other baby" then look at me like I am coo-coo. Ever since I got the stroller I had visions the stroller draped in mosquito netting parked beside me in the shade while my baby slept and I pulled weeds in the garden. Ahhh, ignorance is bliss. Finley has never slept while I pulled weeds, my yard has ever had so many weeds and and all my plants are dead as door nails including the one plant I was watering for my next door neighbour while she was away on holiday. (A quick trip to the garden centre will fix this problem - a replacement plant is in order!)

Finley has started to talk, awwws and oooohs, a pleasant use of her voice and a break from the usual hysterical crying she offers us. Best of all, I was gifted with a belly laugh! She gave me a belly laugh on Tuesday. I'm waiting for another one but she has not quite gotten going that much since. Probably because in the days since then she has become someone new.

My sweet darling baby has become a mommy monster. She only wants me. I love it and I hate it all at the same time. I like that she likes me or my boobies - one cannot be sure if there is a difference at this point. She only wants to be held by me or carried around in her sling for all her naps. The fact that it is 95 degrees is lost on her. She doesn't care so long as she is attached to ME. I take her off to feed and play between wearing her for her naps and I have to change my t-shirt and her diaper shirt because we are soaked in sweat. How's that for an attractive image?

Finley has a very good daddy who likes to share in her care giving and likes to carry her around in the MOBY wrap. The problem this week is that if anyone including her dad holds her she loses her mind screaming like she has a limb caught in a bear trap.

I had to teach a Yoga class with her strapped to the front of me. I went to the OB for a check up with her strapped to the front of me. I mowed the lawn (push mower no motor) with her strapped to the front of me. Seriously. I had to leave her at home to go to a wake and she screamed hysterically the entire 30 minutes I was away from the house until she fell asleep out of exhaustion. She was with her daddy not a stranger. She had a clean diaper, she was well fed, there was no reason for her to be upset. But she was. Because I was not there. The second I hold her she stops all her ridiculous crying.

I have been super tired this week. I am over tired. My brain is not working and I'm so over tired when my head hits the pillow I lie there awake instead of falling off to sleep. It's a vicious cycle. I have tried to break it by wearing myself out with physical exercise and yesterday I tried the opposite just resting. So being this tired and having the baby attached to me is a little wearing - pun intended. I would take her for a ride in the car just to detach her from me while she napped, but, I haven't trusted myself to drive because I'm just not feeling with it and don't want to do something stupid on the road.

Maybe, Fin's neediness is due to my tiredness - maybe she is feeling as off as I am. Maybe we are in a growth spurt. Maybe she has growing pains and I am tired from my body producing more milk. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I dunno. I do know that I don't want a kid who will only want to be with me. I want her to go easily to sit with or spend time with her daddy, her aunties, grandparents and our close friends. Mommy will be a better mommy with a little time off, not a lot, just a little.

Today Finely is 3 months old.

Is this a phase?

Will she outgrow it?

SIGH.

This is the little angelic face I look down at when Finley sleeps in the Ergo. Isn't she sweet?