Number TWO Setback

Help! E.C Moms out there I need some advice / support please! Finley has decided she WILL NOT sit on the potty. This is quite a shift because Finley has been pooping no problem on the potty since she was 4 moths old. She even signs "toilet" at me before she has a bowel movement and I have had time enough to get her onto the potty so she can go. In the past three weeks everything has changed. I'm having a very difficult time getting Finley to acknowledge that she has to poo, she has stopped signing potty and refuses to sit on the potty. She makes her body rigid in a standing position while screaming and yelling.

I have two scenarios to share that I think is the root cause of this behaviour.

The First NUMBER TWO Set Back:

On our last day in Costa Rica, we were driving on the number one highway (no pun intended) and had been for over four hours with one short break for lunch. It is insane driving the number one highway. Hours earlier we had come across the after math of a huge accident involving three transport trucks. All we saw were the firemen leaving the scene and the black carcases of the three trucks. Traffic was backed up bumper to bumper, there are no shoulders on the road to escape the traffic or to try to pull over or squeeze by, however, the driver's still attempt to pass! We were 20 minutes away from the car rental and were right on target to drop the car early and save ourselves another day's rental. This is of course the perfect timing for Fin to sign poo at me from her car seat.

"Steve pull over we have to let Fin out of her seat to poop!" I demand. "Sorry Michelle it's not safe to pull over here. She's a baby wearing a diaper she can poo in it." he says. "UUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHH, Noooo Steve, she knows not to poo in it - I need to get her onto the potty!" I'm now very insistent. I am told it's not a big deal. Babies and old people poop in their diapers it's a fact of life. "Luckily, Steve says, "we are here to clean her so she doesn't get skin breakdown. She can poo this one time in her diaper. " He was right. Where were we going to go? There was nowhere to stop and I was not going to take Fin out of her seat in a moving vehicle on this insane freeway.

Fin is frantically signing her sign for poo at me - we have been using the sign and the potty for six months now and I have seen very very few poo's in her diaper. I tell her I am sorry we cannot take her out of her seat and tell her it's okay to poo because I don't want her to become the Freudian anally fixated kid who holds everything in! Finley begins to get mad because I am not responding to her in our usual way - which is to whisk her to the potty. Then she cries and poops in her diaper while strapped snuggly into her car seat. She then had to sit in it for another 15 minutes until we made our destination and it was safe for me to take her out of her seat to change her. Our E.C communication breakdown ... the trust was broken. I've seen only one poo in a potty since then.

The Second NUMBER TWO Setback:

The second number two set back may actually be due to the advancements Fin has made in the past few weeks. The child is now signing and communicating all kinds of words to us to indicate what she wants. She has not signed "potty" in two weeks however. She has also started walking. Not cruising from one thing to another, she actually stands up in the middle of the room without pulling up on anything and toddles all around the house. She is so fascinated with this new ability she won't take the time to stop to do much else. It's a struggle to get her to stop to eat and get dressed, she just wants to tear it up.

I am continuing to communicate with her. When she wakes up and after her meals I put her on the potty - the same drill we've been doing for months. She arches her back, yells and has even tried to bite me! A few minutes of this and I am not winning the battle. I put a chlorene free disposable diaper on her or a cloth diaper with a disposable flushable liner in it and send her on her way. She plays for a bit then makes the funny face. I say; "Are you pooping?" She looks at me smiles devilishly and then she drops to her knees busts into a speedy crawl to get away from me and will even hide until her business is done. SERIOUSLY! So she knows what she is doing and I clearly do not.

I am nothing if not stubborn and I will get her back on the potty.

ADVICE PLEASE?

Dear Mother Ship - The Turd!

Erin & Kelly Asked:

Okay I HAVE to know more about the baby potty training. How did you get that to work? Share your secrets.

Early Potty training ... works! Basically EC works because you tune into the child's wants and needs. There is a basic dialogue between baby and momma. The baby tells us when it is hungry or tired or wet. So since we are already communicating these basic needs why not learn about toileting? I bet a lot of you know mom's who can tell when their child is pooping. If they are mobile children they stop their activity, pause, squat and make a funny face then they resume their activity. What if you tune into this body language and catch them before this?

We started with Finley at 4 months of age. I began to notice what times of day the breast fed baby would have to drop a deuce. I tracked it for about a week and then I bought a Baby Bjorne LITTLE potty. It fits her little body well. It's a small potty. I take it with me when I travel too.

I began putting her on the potty at every diaper change. While she sat there I made a ssssssss sound while using the ASL (American Sign Language) sign for toilet. This prompts a pee.

As an Aside: I happen to have an arsenal of signs as my nephew only speaks in sign. It's how we converse! I plan to teach Fin so she can chat with her cousin Aaron.

Back to potty training ... I then sign toilet and say poooooooo and grunt. (No joke. I DO THIS EVERY DAY.) Low and behold the kid poops on the potty! In the beginning it was like a magic trick. I screamed in awe. I made Steve come up to look at the poop in the potty. We clapped for Finley. She did it again and again. Soon I went from washing 6 poopy diapers out of 12-15 to one and then none. Now Finley has regulated and poops once in the morning as soon as she wakes up on her potty. If she does not go then, I try her on the potty at every diaper change until she's ready to go and I "catch it." Am I trained or is Finley aware of her need to move her bowls? She is aware. She signs potty. She has since she was 6 months old and at the right time. I am still amazed!

Is it always perfect? No this week she got a little backed up. We tried the potty several times over two days and then the dam broke. She signed potty at me & Steve and then we raced her UPSTAIRS to the potty but she was done. This happened four times in one day! Ahhhhh. Guess what? Today another potty arrived. I purchased from DIAPERS.COM they are awesome have the best rates and offer free delivery on most items. I now have a potty for the upstairs and downstairs bathrooms. I have tried her on the toilet but she won't sit there, she wiggles too much and won't pay attention to her jobs.

There is a link for DIAPER FREE BABIES on my side bar and you can read TWWLY's blog she is my friend who has practiced EC with a daughter and a son with success. She writes a good chapter about EC on her site. She was a good source of help for me and likely will be for you too!

I think a lot of cloth diapering parents will begin to use EC. It really does not take more time than changing a diaper. I don't make a point of talking about infant potty training amongst strangers as I really don't care for the comments of skeptics. I have already heard that "I AM TRAINED" and been looked at funnily, but I can take it! I am not cleaning sh*tty diapers. That's good enough for me and our environment!

E.C works! If nothing else the child should not be afraid of a potty and we'll be out of diapers more easily and sooner.

EC

We started Elimination Communication this week.

IT TOTALLY WORKS! I was amazed. I mean I know people who have been successful, but, I had no idea I could be successful with it too!

We have caught the last 4 out of 6 poopies in a potty.

No, I am not nuts.

No, I don't have too much time on my hands.

Yes, in the long run it will save me time and be more hygienic and environmentally friendly.

I'd rather clean a potty into a toilet than clean poop out of a cloth diaper. For that reason alone I am gonna stick with it. Then there is the public toilet change facilities (gross) I usually change her in the car but what if I can just hold her over the toilet and not carry soiled diapers around in my bag? I also really like the idea that the potty is introduced early so it's not a foreign object introduced after I have trained my baby to go in her pants. This can be our reality.

More on this to come. Here's a recent article from the Toronto Star.