A BED Time Conversation with A 3.5 Year Old.

The other night my sister in law put my niece to bed and then went out to an engagement. I stayed home to watch the kids. I learned just what a child will say to stay up just a little bit later.

Our conversation went like this:

K:

Auntie

Me:

Yes, K.

K:

You didn't kiss me good night.

M:

Yes I did. Do you require another kiss?

K:

Yes

A big sloppy kiss is given and a few are tossed though the air for K to catch.

Me:

Goodnight K- it's time to sleep.

K:

Are you a boy or a girl? (giggles)

Me:

I am a girl.

K:

Do you have a penis?

Me:

No I don't have a penis. I'm a girl.

K:

Is your baby a boy or a girl?

Me:

A girl

K:

So she has a gina.

Me:

Yes, K that's what girls have. We can talk about this tomorrow it's time to go to sleep.

About 2 minutes of silence goes by.

K:

Auntie.

Aaauntie.

AUNTIE! I HAVE TO POO!

Me:

Well get up and go to the toilet. You are a big girl. You can go by yourself.

The toileting is done and I tuck the child back into her bed, but, not before she has negotiated having me sit on her bed and rock her while I sing rock a bye baby. ONCE. Although she tried to get me to do it again. Then she pulled out the fake crying. I check on her and see she is sitting upright in her bed smirking while she fakes some more crying sounds. I elect to ignore her so she will go to sleep.

K:

Auntie my nose is running I need a Kleenex.

Me:

Your nose runs when you fake cry?

K:

Yes.

I bring her a Kleenex and she settles into bed. A few minutes later I begin to hear faint sniffles and then the sound of REAL crying is coming from her bedroom. I go up to check on her. She is crying REAL big crocodile tears.

Me:

What's wrong K?

K:

My Kleenex is broken.

I try not to laugh because this is very serious and she is very upset. She extends her hand to show me a Kleenex all shredded up. I go get her a new one in trade for the broken one.

Quiet for about 10 minutes.

The phone rings it's my husband calling.

K:

Auntie who is on the phone?

Me:

Uncle Steve - he says good night now go to sleep.

K:

Auntie! I want to talk to Uncle Steve.

Me:

Good night K.

K:

I want to tell him about my poo.

And that's how a three and a half year old managed to stay up an additional 45 minutes after she was put to bed.

The End