Monday, December 8, 2008

A Reflection In A Store Window

Last week I rocked out my ultra stylish "Dark Wash Maternity Skinny Jeans." I tucked them into the black leather slouch boots carefully selected while shopping in Paris. I wore a long sleeve, long waisted fitted black top, a black scarf,  packed my huge green handbag full of food (a mainstay in my purse since becoming pregnant) and set out for a fine day of Christmas shopping.  

I felt beautiful!  I felt stylish.  I felt svelte. Yeah,  I said svelte. Like old yoga body me...and then I caught a reflection in a store window.  HOLY CRAP!  Who's hips are those?  I actually stopped and turned to look to see who was behind or beside me - clearly this could NOT be my reflection?  

There I stood - all by myself - staring into the department store window. 

Yes, that is MY reflection and those are my hips. I turn side profile - thankfully my ass was not wide - I was only growing belly forward and hips wider.  I  guess I don't look that bad I tried to tell myself as my self image and esteem dropped a few notches.  I hear the childhood chide "take a picture it lasts longer" coming from a voice inside my head.  Not today, no pictures of me today. I stood fixated unable to stop staring at the girl in the reflection in the window for a few minutes longer.   She really was me.

Well, so long as my ass and thighs do not grow out to meet the side of my hips - it won't be that bad, I tell myself.  Maybe,  if I keep getting wider I will have to staple a red flag on each hip like they do with lumber hanging out the trunk of cars on the highway to warn people to keep a wide birth. Maybe?  

I reach into my handbag for a granola bar, unwrap it and stare at it before taking a bite.   I vow to wear longer sweaters with these jeans - and bigger boots to offset the pear shape I was quickly becoming.  I can camoflage this with simple oversize accessories!    I vow that for the next week I am only going to teach leg strengthening,  hip and bottom slimming yoga postures in all my yoga classes.  It will be good for the students too, I tell myself...ulterior motives thinly veiled.  Removing my gaze from the window I carry on  with my  Christmas shopping, striking names off my list, forgetting about the window's reflection.  

On my walk home I passed another reflection in a store window. 

This reflection was not of me. The sun was in just the perfect position to remove the object from the frame leaving only a shadow. Standing in the right postion created a most beautiful relfection.  This one warranted a photo! 

The message was clear.  It didn't say,  "HELLO WIDE LOAD" it said "LIVE LOVE LAUGH." 

This time I snapped the photo and happily walked home. Live Love Laugh (no matter how wide your hips are).

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