Lies

As a new parent I marvel in all the milestones my daughter reaches, cheering her on with encouraging words, clapping and jumping up and down in enthusiastic praise. At 22 months old, she is talking a mile a minute, singing little songs, dancing, making it to the potty most of the time and playing really well alone and with her peers.

The one developmental milestone I was not expecting to encounter until she was a few years older was lying. Today, at breakfast, I left the kitchen to throw in a load of laundry and came back to find the cupboard open and the basket of mason jar rings and a few canning accessories were spread out all over the floor. This is totally normal as I have never restricted the cupboards from her play. If the items are not breakable and keep her entertained and I can wash them up before I need to use them for cooking then she has free reign.

Finley:

Mama, seeee!

Me:

Oh, Wow. Did you make this mess?

Finley;

No, Cecil make mess.

Me (Laughing):

Really, Cecil. How impressive.

For those of you who do not know Cecil. He's our three pound, 12 year old Yorkie. Obviously this little lie is funny and I'm sure was not perpetrated so that she would get out of trouble as she wasn't in any trouble. She has never caught heck for playing with the canning rings...I'm pretty sure it was me who introduced them to her in the first place. So why the immediate response to shift blame?

Have any funny little lies you children told you? How old were they when they began to tell tales?

From The Mouth of Babes

This holiday I spent a lot of time with toddlers. They are pretty funny to watch. The way they interact with one another is wild. These little ones are my niece and nephews. Kaylee is 3.5, Gavin is 2.5 and Bastian is 2 years old. They are all in the MINE phase and sharing is a concept forced upon them. Playing (when I say playing I really mean clobbering each other, pushing each other off chairs, grabbing toys from one another's hands and biting one another) is a skill not yet mastered in a group setting. They do play very well on their own and with their imaginary friends. Don't get me wrong they did play well together sometimes. They participated in arts and crafts projects while under strict supervision quite well and for their ages their attention spans are excellent better in fact than most adults I know.

Here are some GEMS from the holidays:

On New Years Eve I decided to take the toddlers to my Yoga studio to teach them some yoga in an effort to keep them entertained so that they were not under foot in the kitchen while the seafood feast was being prepared. I rolled out four mats. The three children took their places on the mats facing me. I asked if they were all ready to begin yoga. All three faces smiled at me and then they began to follow my verbal cues and imitate my gestures. We all sat cross legged and then began to inhale and exhale while raising our arms over head. This was going swimmingly and next I asked the kids to make their hands float around their heads like butterflies. It is then that the 2.5 year old's expression changes. He starts to look worried and then begins to cry.

Michelle

Gavin what's wrong sweetie?

Gavin

I want to do yogaaaaaaaat.

Michelle

We are doing YOGA honey - it's an exercise.

Gavin (cries harder)

Then Gavin's Mom comes into the studio to see how we are making out with our yoga class and sees her son dissolving into a puddle of tears.

Dawn

Gavin what's the matter?

Gavin

I want to do yogaaaat.

Dawn

Oh honey, it's not yogurt- its yoga. They are different.

Gavin

But I want yogaaat.

Dawn and I try not to laugh too hard and then I say there is some in the fridge. Dawn takes Gavin away to the kitchen to eat some Yogggggggaaaaaaaaaaat. And the rest of us continue for a while with our yoga.

NEXT:

On Christmas day Steve's Mom and Aunt and I took the kids up to the bonus room to chillax for a while. We put on the Rudolf movie and the kids rested while watching and played a little really nicely. Everything was calm and peaceful for 50 whole minutes. Then the attention spans shifted, the boys left the room grandma chased after them, aunt was sleeping on the couch and just Kaylee and I were left upstairs. I picked up Finley and took her over to execute a quick diaper change. Kaylee came along to watch. She was pretending to be Princes Lillis a character from her repertoire of her imaginary world. (Some of these characters she transforms into others are just hanging around and you have to be careful where you step lest you squish one.) This when Kaylee's mom Jen arrived in the room.

Jen

Hi whats going on up here?

Michelle

Well Princess Lillis was just dancing for us.

Jen

Princess Lillis show me your dance!

Kaylee aka Princess Lillis

F#ck, F$CK, F*CK, F******CK

Jen and I are shocked and look at one another. I tuck my face into my shoulder so I don't give away my smiles because clearly this is not funny.

Jen

That is not a nce word we don't use that word Kaylee.

Kaylee aka Princess Lillis

F#ck, F$CK, F*CK, F******CK

Jen

Where did you hear that word?

Kaylee (points at me)

Aunt Shell!

Michelle

You DID NOT!

Aunty (who has now woken up from her nap on the couch)

She most certainly didn't hear it from anyone in here in the last hour.

Kaylee aka Princess Lillis

F#ck, F$CK, F*CK, F******CK

Michelle

I admit it's one of my favorite words but I have not said it even under my breath since I was getting in the car this morning to come here.

Jen

You were just the closest in proximity to blame. She could have heard it days ago.

So there ya go - a couple of little gems from our holidays... There s another cute one please check back ad I'll post it soon.

QUESTION???

What do you do when a toddler starts spewing out curse words? I remember having my mouth washed out with soap. How do you guys deal with it? I need to know before it comes up!

You Should Learn Some New Songs

On our car 16 hour ride to Ontario I entertained our 3.5 month old with my arsenal of songs. Sometimes, when I am playing with Fin, out of my mouth comes a new children's song, one that I hadn't thought of in years. Other times, I start a song and somewhere along the way I forget the words and wind up humming along to the tune, then pick it up again and lately, I just make some words up.

My repertoire is varied; Finley likes everything from the Dead and Dylan to Britney and Rhianna and as far as kids songs go I thought I knew quite a few. I have the nursery rhymes down and a handful of other great songs about sharing and peanut butter and jelly, little worms, skipping songs, the old lady who swallowed a spider, Bunny Fou Fou and teddy bears who picnic. It doesn't matter that I can't carry a tune Finley loves the sound of my voice and somehow my singing is both entertaining and soothing to her.

Fin's favorite lullaby is the ONLY lullaby I know all the words to. It's our song. Every time she is fussy and having a hard time going to sleep I sing: Ann Murray's Mocking Bird song from the album There's A Hippo in My Bathtub. It was my favorite album as a kid.

Our car ride version went something like this:

Michelle (singing)

Hush Little Baby Don't Say a Word Momma's Gonna buy you a Mocking bird.

Steve (Speaking)

No she's not!

Finley (screaming)

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhieaaaaaaaaaiaaiiiiiiiiaaaaaaaaahhhhh

Michelle

If that mocking won't sing. Momma's gonna buy diamond ring.

Steve

No she's not!

Michelle

If that diamond ring turns brass momma's gonna buy you a looking glass.

Steve

No she's not.

Finley (screaming)

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhieaaaaaaaaaiaaiiiiiiiiaaaaaaaaahhhhh

Michelle

If that looking glass is broke, Momma's gonna buy you a billy goat.

Steve

Well maybe that - that's cool - you can buy that.

Michelle

If that billy goat won't pull Momma's gonna buy you a cart and bull.

Steve

I like the goat better.

Michelle

If that cart and bull turn over, Momma's gonna buy you a dog named Rover.

Steve

You have to get rid of Cecil then.

Michelle

If that dog named Rover won't bark, Momma's gonna buy you a horse and cart.

Steve

You don't want a dog to bark. You might as well keep Cecil.

Michelle (Big Finish)

If that horse and cart fall down, You'll still be the sweetest little baby in tooooown.

Steve

Why don't you learn some new songs?

Or at the very least make up some other stuff to buy her and sing about.